Fatherhood is such a unique experience. Never before have I been so challenged, humbled, afraid and happy, sometimes all at one. From the moment my wife called me with the news that her pregnancy test was positive, I knew my life was never going to be the same. But the other day, I was thinking; How does one know that they've actually "arrived" as a dad? Is it marked by one defining moment, or by a series of little instances that culminate over time? I thought it would be fun to explore that answer via a trendy, countdown list based on my own experiences:
1. When you login to Netflix, your recommended viewing looks something like this:
2.You can hold a genuine, mature conversation about breasts
3. You never found the color and texture of poop more interesting in
your life
4. It's a totally normal occurrence to have someone else’s drool on your
clothes, face and sometimes in your mouth
5. When you’re being held up in line because of someone's
kid is throwing a tantrum in the grocery store, you aren’t annoyed, but rather relieved
that it isn’t your child this time
6. Your Pandora “Quick Mix” ranges from Tupac Shakur, to Raffi’s
“Apples and bananas”
7. Child-friendly words like “night-night” and “yummy” will incorporate themselves into adult conversations
8. The definition of “game time” has evolved from getting ready
to watch your favorite sport, to successfully cleaning and changing a wiggly infant
after a level 10 diaper blowout.
9. You find yourself daydreaming about catching up on sleep
10. Other people know you’re a dad without you having to tell
them, mainly because of your “World’s Greatest Dad” coffee mug, your “#1 Dad” t-shirt,
or the “interesting” artwork proudly displayed in your office
11. If you have any tattoos, the majority of them are temporary
12. You're more familiar with the songs on "Mickey Mouse
Clubhouse" and "Fresh Beat Band" than any current hit on the radio
13. You babywear, like a freaking BOSS
14.You still love Family Guy and The Simpsons, but you find
yourself secretly resenting the main characters for being such crappy fathers
15. Regarding fashion, you tend to value comfort over style.
16. It never ceases to amaze you how someone so small can make
you feel 1000 feet tall
(Bonus Round)
17. When you reach into your pocket to grab your wallet, you aren't in the least surprised that you pulled out stickers
18. When you were younger, you used to stay up all night, mix drinks and help your friends who threw up. Now, you're STILL up all night, except now you're mixing bottles and cleaning baby throw up.
As fun as this list was to make, I can't say for sure whether or not I am any closer to answering my question than when I started. All I know is that I am fully immersed in my role as a dad and I wouldn't trade this job for anything in the world!
Question: Did I leave anything out? Do you agree/disagree with my list? Comment below!
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Disclosure: I was provided the MicroTouch ONE razor in exchange for this review, however all opinions expressed are completely my own.
I used to love spending time with
my grandfather. I would sit and listen as he raved about the different things
that he used to enjoy in his youth and yes he always used the classic line, "they don’t make them like they used to." While there is certainly room for debate on this subject, (i.e. I will take
a smartphone over a rotary phone any day), there is one item that has clearly
lost its quality over the years; the razor. The double edged, metal, safety
razors have been replaced by the plastic, multi-blade contraptions that we are
all accustomed to using. Personally, I tend to use razors as infrequently as possible because I always seem to get irritation and ingrown hairs due to my hair texture and sensitive skin. Also, they tend to be pretty expensive and because of this, it just seems more effective to take a trip to the barber once a week.
Recently however, as consumers have become
more knowledgeable, there has been somewhat of a shaving renaissance emerging
in the US. The shaving products and techniques that have been used historically seem to be making a comeback and The MicroTouch
ONE safety razor is one is one of these products.
Here’s the pitch that you’ll find on the
company’s website.
“MicroTouch
ONE is the modern version of the timeless classic safety razor. After years of
price increases from multi-blade razor manufacturers, MicroTouch, a consistent
top-three grooming brand in the country (Nielsen Report, Razor Trimmer
Appliances, 52 weeks ending 2012), brings you the most affordable and effective
razor option that professional Barbers still prefer today – the single blade
shave.
A substantial
and precision-crafted tool, MicroTouch ONE is made of solid brass and chrome
plated to a beautiful, polished shine. The ONE feels fabulous in your hand and,
most important, glides smoothly across your skin for the best shave of your
life. The ONE’s “butterfly” opening allows you to easily and safely clean the
blade, rinsing it free of shaving cream and whiskers after each shave. Your
blades last longer, and that saves you money.”
Informercial-ish spiel aside, this is a pretty cool razor. From
the moment I pulled it out of its travel case, I could tell that I was going
to have a shaving experience outside of the norm. Whether or not that was a
good or bad thing, I wasn’t sure of…yet. Ascetically, the MircoTouch’s chrome plated handle gives it a polished look that gives a manly feel to it, as if it were a true instrument or tool. The
weight of the metal in your hand is noticeably heavier than the plastic razors
that I’m used to. The double-edged razors are made by Dorco and are so thin that when I picked up one of the folded papers
that they are contained in, I actually thought it was empty because it was so
flexible. Furthermore, this probably goes without saying, but I'm going to mention it anyway: These razors are extremely sharp and can be dangerous. For their safety (and yours), please keep them away from small children.
When testing out the MicroTouch ONE for the first time, I
quickly realized that I had to completely change the way that I typically shave. While virtually little to no effort is needed with the current,
multi- blade models, there’s actually some technique required in order to garner
the desired shave with a safety razor. You have to tilt the razor at an
approximate 45 degree angle and take short, deliberate strokes over the area you’re
shaving. Also, be sure to use minimal
pressure, as the weight of the razor itself is enough to cut through your hair.
It didn’t take long for me to get the hang of it and I felt confident enough to
shape around my beard and mustache. When I wiped the excess lather off of my
face and looked in the mirror, I was quite impressed to see how clean my face
looked. Like I said before, I tend to stray away from razors in general because I always end up with ingrown hairs due to my hair texture and sensitive skin. However, since the publish date of this
post, I’ve used this razor 3 times and I have yet to get any razor bumps due to ingrown hair.
Overall, I really like the MicroTouch ONE razor. For $19.99
(plus $7.99 shipping and handling), you are getting comparatively more for your
money than you would with a cartridge shaver. This is my first safety razor and
I feel as though my shaving experience has been kicked up a few notches. I recommend it to anyone who is considering making the switch.
For more information, feel free to check out their site on: https://www.onerazor.com/
I remember knowing as far back as a little kid that I was
going to be a dad. Not only that, but I was going to have at least 5-8 kids
because why not? The more the merrier, right?
While fleeting fantasies like that were well and good in my
youth, the reality of these childhood "dreams" set in within about 1 month from
the birth of our first child. There were great moments, amazing really. But
there were also those movements of exhaustion, stress and near bankruptcy that
eventually led us to the decision that we were done after one.
Done with one.... Hmmmmm, Yeah right.
Three years later, something in us changed. Perhaps
it was the fact that we were seemingly so far removed from our first son’s
infant stage that we actually started to miss the smell, sound and touch of a
new baby. Perhaps we should have just considered getting a “new baby smell”
Car Freshener instead.
Coming to a car wash near you!
My wife and I
often joke that there must be some sort of innate trigger in the human brain
that shifts your focus primarily on the good memories, like the first time his little baby hand gripped our fingers and melted our hearts, while somehow filtering
out any negative experiences, like diaper changing and unwanted 3am wake up calls. As a matter of fact, don't let those sweet baby smiles fool you, the idea of "baby fever" is an actual biological reaction that occurs in our bodies. You can read all about it here.
And so, after some thoughtful discussion we proceeded to
plan for our 2nd bundle of joy. With that said, after a long and trying 9 months for both my wife and myself those memories of how hard it is to actually care for a baby began to somehow creep to the surface again. Once we were able to clearly envision our near future of long nights and smelly diapers, even before my second son's long awaited arrival, we had decided that once and for all after this baby, we were done.
Not “whoops, we’re having a third” No, "maybe we should try for girl?" No excuses... done; DONE done.
But now the question we were left with, was how can we guarantee that there will be no
“whoopsie baby” moments. We’ve discussed many hormonal birth control methods (the pill, Mirena, etc) that my wife could take. However, in the past, the
hormones in those have pretty adverse effects on my wife; both physically and
emotionally (and in turn, on me). So we have found that for now, the safest resource to prevent baby
number 3 is the use of condoms, but not even that is 100% reliable and let’s be
honest: The sensation comparatively is like eating at a diner: The food is pretty good and you don't regret going, but in the back of your mind, you know you've enjoyed better. Therefore,
until they come up with a birth control pill for men (What are you waiting for,
science?) that leaves only two reasonable options: Either she gets her tubes
tied, or I get a vasectomy.
So which partner is going to do what? This is obviously a personal decision that a couple
would want to carefully consider. At the very least, it probably isn’t
something that you would want to decide on over a game of rock paper scissors. At least, not a sane couple anyways.
When you compare the two procedures in terms of being
invasive, potential risk factors and recovery time, it makes the most sense
for me to have a vasectomy. With that more or less “decided”, I should be okay
with heading down to the doctors, right? Well, not exactly….
Despite being medically “efficient” and “low risk”, I’m
still feeling hesitant about actually going through with the procedure. Call me
crazy, but there’s something about having a doctor tear into your junk with a
scalpel a little imitating. Besides that, there are a few reasons why;
Will I Feel Like Less of a Man?
As a man, it’s not unnatural to have indicators for yourself-imagined
or otherwise- that is used as somewhat of a masculinity gauge. It could be something as significant and
fulfilling as being an involved father. But it also is trivial, like being able
to carry all of the grocery bags in the house in one trip. I’m willing to bet
that for most guys, the capability to...ahem, fire a fully loaded pistol is up
there on that list somewhere. After all, from a biological perspective, when
you strip away our modern society, the sole purpose of our existence is to do
our part to help create life. So, when you strip away that component of his
physiology, where does that leave his psyche? Probably in the same place Luke
Skywalker would be without the “light” on his light saber. Or, somewhere next
to Dirty Harry if his magnum had a chamber full of blank bullets. Either way,
I’m not sure if that is a place where I want to be, yet.
As I mentioned before, my wife and I did a complete 180 from
our original decision and decided to try for a 2nd kid after all.
Had I gotten the procedure done before that point, I’d probably be writing a different post right now. A buddy of mine and his wife decided that after two kids, enough was enough. They read the brochures, did their online research and scheduled an appointment with a urologist for a consultation. The doctor sat with my friend privately, looked him straight in the eye and said in a stern voice, "Before I sign off on this, you have to be really, really sure that you don't want to have children again."Needless to say, he hasn't been back to that office since. There's just something about the finality of it that makes me uneasy.
Sure, they say that vasectomies are possibly reversible, but
really, going through the experience a first time would be difficult enough, I
can’t imagine going for round two. There's also the ace in the hole option of
freezing samples of your sperm, in the
event you change your mind. That possibility is all well and
good too, but even that poses its own risks. What if the facility that his holding your sperm sample loses power and it thaws or gets damaged somehow? Maybe I'm splitting hairs by coming up with worst case scenarios, but you're really limiting yourself. You only get one shot at procreation until your only genetic imprint that you will ever produce is all used up.
Painful Side Effects?
Before I get into it, I'd like to mention that from the time I was a boy, it was hard-wired into my brain that pain and your scrotum are two things that should never, ever mix together. Here's a bit of advice for you: If you're on the
fence about getting a vasectomy and you don’t want to be scarred for life, do
not Google the words vasectomy and side effects in succession.
With any invasive procedure, there’s always the
risk of complications occurring. Some of them are unlikely and are minor,
but there are others that will make you cross your legs as you read through the
laundry list of possibilities. It kind of reminds me of one of those pharma drug commercials that shows scenes with smiling people doing activities that have nothing to do with the drug itself. Imagine if getting a vasectomy was sold like that? Here's my pitch for one of those commercials:
Tired of using condoms? *Group of guys playing basketball*
Are you worried that your wife will forget her
birth control? *Guy climbing a mountain*
Worried you might unintentionally increase your
family number? *Family watching TV*
Then you have to try Snip-a-sac!
Symptoms may include:
Bleeding, swelling, infection, random sperm dribbling, sperm granuloma (leakage into tissue)
Ask you doctor if Snip-a-sac is right for you! Try it (or not) today!
This may sound like an anti-vasectomy post, but that’s not
my intention. These are simply my reflections on the situation and ultimately, a clear indicator that I’m not yet ready to take the leap. For every horror story, I'm sure there are plenty of happy, satisfied dads who are enjoying the best worry free sex of their life. But until I can work through my issues and make a decision, I guess I’ll
just stick with the old fashioned methods of birth control.
Question: Have you or your partner gotten a vasectomy? If so, are you happy with your decision? If not, what made you decide against it?
