As I write this, it is Saturday at 3:54am. 5 years ago, I probably would be crawling back into bed after a night of partying. But that was the old me. Right now, I'm laying in bed unable to sleep and somehow, despite being in a queen size bed, my 4 year old's leg has somehow found itself sprawled across my chest. He crept into my bedroom about an hour ago claiming that a sound in his room scared him and he needed
My wife is in the livingroom with our 4 day old baby boy. I haven't heard any crying recently, so I hope that she has managed to squeeze some sleep in between feedings. This is our 2nd night together as our new family since we brought the baby home from the hospital. As intense and dramatic it is to experience all of the events leading up to and during labor, then personally witnessing the miracle of life the 2nd time around, there is a certain calmness to it all.
If you're a believer in God or simply in the concept of destiny, you have the understanding that the events that occur in our individual lives aren't simply random happenstance, but predetermined years before you were born, maybe as early as the begining of time. I truly believe that it was those forces that have guided my life this far from a young man crawling into bed at 4am, to fufill my purpose, my destiny as a father of these two young boys. It's incredibly easy for us as humans to make other humans (procreate), but it takes a particular about of fortitude, heart and courage to actually take on the heavy responsibility of parenthood. And there's something about lying here, next to my firstborn at 4 in the morning, that gives me this feeling of completeness knowing without a shadow of a doubt that not only is this where I want to be, it's where I'm supposed to be.
These are my honest thoughts and I'm going to post this immediately after I'm finished, unfiltered and unedited.
Ok, I'm going to try to fall asleep before I ramble any further.