Feb 12, 2013

What Parents Do at Night? (A Graph)

If you were like me as a new parent, you probably heard the rumors from veteran parents about the lack of sleep you will encounter. You'll probably rebuff their warnings and think to yourself, "Hey, I'm the same guy who during college was able to party all night Thursday, come home, finish a 5 page paper and place it on my professor's desk by 8am Friday; staying up to take care of my kid will be a breeze!"

Then the baby gets here and everything changes.
A VERY rare moment of peace


Now you are a red-eyed, frothing at the mouth, zombie-like shell of the person you used to be trying your best to appease your child as if he/she were a vengeful Mayan Deity. To those parents, I present the following graph because Lord knows we're doing everything but sleeping:




 

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12 comments:

  1. This is very accurate. Love the 12% building-resentment wedge...my sister and I had our kids at the same time. Her kid was 10 lbs at birth, so yes, he was sleeping through the night within a couple of weeks! Mine were preemie twins that didn't sleep through the night for 6 months! Even though my twins are 22 years old, I remember those days of early parenthood like they were yesterday.

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    1. Ooh I feel your pain, but at least it was only 6 months. My son didnt start sleeping through the night until after his first year! As crazy as it was though, it made me appreciate the sacrifices my parents made for me. Thank you as always for your insights! :-)

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  2. Love this chart! And lived it for a weeks...until my daughter became the U.S. Sleep Champion. I quickly realized that it was best not to share this information with the bleary-eyed parents in her playgroup.

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    1. LOL I'm glad that you had a little empathy for your fellow parent. Thanks for stopping by!

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  3. That looks about right! Add to it a son who didn't sleep through the night until 5 years of age and you have a recipe for pure exhaustion. I feel for you!

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    1. Wow. 5 Years? I can't even imagine. The things we do for our children...

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  4. Oh Kyle, I just loved the chart as it's so real. I laughed at the praying to God and Building resentment ones, so funny. Everyone loves the idea of having kids but when the kids actually arrive it's nothing like they think. Some kids are really good as babies, and others will give you a good story to tell as grand-parents, ha ha ha :)

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  5. This chart is absolutely awesome - i love it!!!! I love the resentment one, and rock/paper scissor to see who would get up. In our house though it would have been "pretending to be asleep so that your partner will get up" :)

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    1. Oh man I wished I had added that to my chart. Becasue I totally did that too. But SSSHHH! My wife may be reading :-)

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  6. Yeah to be a dad is not easy being a kid i know that.

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  7. I love this job :) I am a father of two.

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