Enrolling Your Child in Daycare VS Keeping Them Home: Which Side Are You On?

If you’re a parent, you will eventually come at a cross roads where you will have to decide whether you will either stay home with your child, or enter (or reenter) the workforce and enroll your child in a daycare facility.

Although this decision will be made based on your own family’s circumstances, a strong case can be prepared for both sides:

The Case For Daycare:

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Being a stay at home parent might have made sense back in the 50’s, but in this day and age, considering current cost of living, more and more families are dual income now than ever before. Besides income, both parents may want the opportunity to pursue their own respective careers. This, among other things, drives the need for a reliable daycare service.

Daycares don’t call in sick as they are professional establishments. The staff members are typically well trained and most dependable programs are licensed and regulated by the state. My child will have the opportunity to interact with other kids their own age, which is beneficial in developing their social skills. With the constant interaction, sure kids can spread germs to one other, but kids need to be exposed to a little bacterium every now and then to strengthen their immune system in the long run.

The Case Against Daycare:



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While it is true most daycare staff are well trained and would likely do an awesome job, they are certainly no substitute for mom and dad. Besides, if I’m working all day, I’ll miss out on all those special milestones that make parenthood so special, like their first steps, or first words. I would rather have a firsthand account of my child’s development than to have it relayed to me by someone else.

 By being a stay at home parent, I can avoid uncomfortable clashes with daycare if something occurs there that I am unhappy with. My family is my priority and I would rather invest my time in them, than stress over trying to balance work and home life. Keeping my child at home will reduce the frequency of them coming into contact with germs that are carried by other drooling, snot-nosed kids at are enrolled. Finally, daycare can be very expensive ; that money can be allocated towards other things that will be beneficial to my child, like a college fund.

So, you’ve heard the opinions of both sides; tell us, which side are you on? If you’ve already made your decision, what were your reasons?

Stress Management Tips for New Dads

Like most fathers, I love my family more than anything and as a result, I often find that the majority of my waking time is dedicated to them. In addition to working a job where I work 40+ hours with nutcases (some people may call them "coworkers") that sometimes drive me up a wall, my daily routine often starts with me waking up before sunrise and includes tasks that includes but not limited to: getting the little one ready for school, cooking breakfast, making lunch, buying groceries, appointments, picking him up after work, making dinner, giving him a bath, getting him ready for bed, reading a book, then putting him to bed. In between said tasks, I am expected to come to work with my game face on, ready to tackle any issue that comes my way. On top of that, if you’re like me, you have a significant other that is sometimes sympathetic but nonetheless (ahem) “demanding” of your time as well.

I think you see where I’m getting at.

We all know that the demands of life can pile on your plate and cause huge amounts of stress. That’s normal. It becomes an issue however, when you can’t manage that stress the right way and affects your family dynamic. Children, even at the earliest of ages are more in tune with their surroundings than we sometimes give them credit for and they can sense if something’s not right.  I’ve been guilty of that and hopefully through these tips you can avoid the mistakes that I’ve made.

1.       Sleep (When you can) - I wanted to get this one out of the way since for most of us, it’s one of the biggies. You know the scenario: It’s 3:30 am and that lovely dream you were having about ostriches in cowboy boots is suddenly interrupted by a piercing scream. After you drag yourself out of bed to comfort the little one and they finally decide to take pity on you and falls back to sleep, its 4:45 and your alarm is set for 5:15 because you need to get to work early that day. At work, you try in vain to attack your grogginess with caffeine, but you can’t shake that drowsy feeling all day which sets the stage for stress.

Rare moment of peace in the early days

 If your little one hasn’t mastered the art of sleeping through the night yet, it may actually get worse before it gets better. This is when you need to get creative. If you can, I suggest taking mid-day power naps. If I’m having a rough day, I use my lunch break to walk to my car, lean then seat back and set a timer on my phone for 20 minutes.  Studies have shown that a quick 20 min power nap can be more effective than sleeping for 1 hr. Another possible option is simply going to bed earlier. Swallow your pride, invest in a DVR so you don’t miss your shows and hit the sheets as early as 8- 9pm in you need to.

2.       Eating Healthy & Exercise- A lot of guys underestimate the value of a healthy lifestyle. The more your meals are well balanced with fruits, veggies and protein, the more energy you have than the better you feel. Also, try to set on average a couple of hours a week of workout time. There is nothing like a great workout to start you day with a little extra pep in our step. Or based on your schedule, you can get rid of the stresses of your day off after work. Even if you can’t dedicate that much time, anything, including going for a quick walk or taking the stairs instead of the elevator, is better than nothing. In addition to this, healthy habits are a learned skill and you want to make sure you set the right example for your child so they in turn develop the right habits that they will use for the rest of their life.




Martial Arts: My favorite de-stresser

3.       Setting Up Routines- One of the best skills I’ve learned to help manage stress is setting up and (here’s the important part) sticking to a daily routine. Daily routines are helpful because they help set a productive tone for the day. A good morning routine can be going for a morning walk, or setting some quiet time to go through a to-do list. Adopting a nightly routine is equally beneficial.  For example, here’s a portion of my nightly routine: before I go to bed, I set out my and sometimes my little one’s clothes for the day, make our lunches or the next day, then I do some stretching. Doing this gives me an opportunity to wind down and mentally prepare for the next day and taking care of some chores the night before with give you fewer things to worry about. Whether it's morning, mid-day or evening, a routine is a great day to battle stress.

4.       Taking Time for Yourself- By nature of being a father, you’re probably no stranger to self-sacrifice. Between your child(ren) , your coworkers , your friends, and your partner, you’re valuable to others and your time and energy are probably in high demand on a daily basis. But you have to remember that as an individual, you have to take care of your needs as well.  Do you have any hobbies?  Make sure you take out time every week to pursue those interests. It doesn’t have to be anything major. Reading, listing to music, watching the game or hanging with friends; just make sure it’s something you enjoy that you find relaxing...



A little peace and quiet can go a long way

5.       Set Aside Family Time- The daily stresses of work and family life have a way of weighing down on most men. Although work and chores are important, it is equally important (arguably more) to take some time daily to just enjoy each other’s company. My partner and I work virtually opposite schedules, but we try to make sure we eat dinner as a family on a nightly basis. Another great way to spend family time is reading bedtime stories, which also has the benefit of developing a love for reading in your child at an early age. Whatever it is you decide to do, make sure it’s fun and done together as a family.

6.       Talk it Out- I think there’s a common misconception in guy culture that equates strength with silence (AKA, the strong, silent type). While that can be true in some situation, dealing with your woman is one area that it’s not. Not only does taking time out of each day to sit with your significant other and discuss what’s on each other’s minds strengthen your relationships, getting things off your chest will take loads of stress off of your shoulders.

I think what you can take from this post is that there isn't a "cure all" method for getting rid with stress. However, the best thing you can do for yourself and your family is figure out ways that you can best managing that stress in a way that's productive, healthy and fun! 

What techniques do you use for stress management? 

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Do You Need To Get A Life? (In Flowchart Form)

The inspiration for this post actually came a few days ago, based on a reply to one of my facebook statues:

My post: Watching Monster's Inc w/ the little one. I forgot how hilarious this movie was.

Reply: Come outside! You've been in the house too long lol

That reply really got me thinking. As a parent, I dedicate so much of my non-working time to my family, I find it easy to forget that it is equally important to take time for yourself to pursue my own interests, as least once in a while. That led me to the following question: How do you know it's time to get out of the house, or get a "life"? The following flowcart should answer that question for you pretty quickly. Take a look and see where you fit!

(You're going to have to click or the picture to get a better view)