WIN IT: $30 in Accessories (Fatherly Stuff Springtime Giveaway-CLOSED)

In a couple of days, it will finally be springtime.

It couldn't have come at a better time; I don't know about you guys, but this has been one of the worst winters in about 30 years and I'm tired of shoveling snow.

Spring is a significant time of the year for many families because of the traditions they share. These traditions vary from the religious (Passover, Palm Sunday), to the entertaining (Easter egg hunts), to the  hygienic (spring cleaning). This is the theme of our giveaway.

I've partnered with Vivaneskha (Vivi), owner of Jenvy Accessories. Vivi is extremely skilled and specializes in handmade accessories such as necklaces, bracelets, earrings, and more. The winner of this giveaway will get up to $30 to spend on any item from her store. Here are some of the items:

Click HERE to see the shop's full inventory!

 

In order to enter, all you have to do is answer the following question in the comment section below:

 

What is your favorite springtime tradition?

The comments will be numbered and randomly selected by random.org. One person per entry. One comment = 1 entry. The deadline for the final entry will be Thursday, 3/21 @ 11:59PM EST. Winner will be announced Friday, 3/22.

(*Must Be 18+ to enter. Also when commenting, please make sure you add an email. Don't worry, we wont be using it for marketing. We just need a way to contact you when/if you win)

Good luck to you all and thank you in advance for participating!

 





Fatherly Stuff Mailbag: How Do You Bond With a Child that Only Wants Mommy?

Here is a question from fellow dad Mike:

Hey, any advice for getting through the "I WANT MOMMY" phase? I have a 2 and a half year old that almost refuses to let me do anything to help him/play with him (when Mommy is home/around). If it is him and I... (he) is just the sweetest thing in the world with me.

Hi Mike,

Thanks for your question. I couldn't help but chuckle as I read this because I went through the EXACT same situation. To the point where if I wasn't there to personally cut the umbilical cord, I would have thought my son was still attached somehow.

For my son's first 8-9 months of life, mommy stayed home with him all day while I worked two jobs. This meant two things: 1) I missed out on a lot of the primary childcare duties and 2) When I was home, I only had a brief window of bonding time before it was time for bed.

Eventually I quit the 2nd job, but by then the damage was already done: We were great together when mommy ran errands or went out with her friends, but as soon as she came home, the tears would start rolling down his eyes and he would grab her legs as if he were being tortured.

So what gives?

Well, think about it from the little guy's perspective: Here is the person that carried him for 9 months, and was the primary source of food, shelter, warmth and safety during the post natal stages. So it's only natural that he is going to develop a strong bond with the mom.

I also think there is a gender component to this as well. Why do you think the popular terms are "mamma's boy" and "daddy's girl"? But I digress.

Here are some suggestions that helped me:
First of all, don't take it personal. In all truthfullness, being rejected by your own kid can hurt a little, but don't give up!
Also, when you, your child and the mom are doing activities together (cooking, arts and crafts, playing games etc), try taking the lead and letting mommy slowly take steps back until she is in the background. If he notices and starts with the "I WANT MOMMY", have the mom encourage/assure him to continue the activity with you. It's important to get validated by her.
If you are not doing this already, try incorporating yourself into his daily routines. Doing things like getting him dressed in the morning, giving him a bath and reading him his favorite stories at night will help develop a stronger bond with your child.
 The idea is demonstrating to him that like his mommy, you are also a reliable source of love, comfort and safety.
In the end though, you had it right when you called it a "phase" ' It is something that your son will eventually grow out of as he gains more and more independence. When that time comes, your presence will be crucial because he will be looking to you to help guide him into manhood.

I hope this helps!

Anyone else have a different take or additional pointers? Please share in the comment section below!

How I Taught My Son His First Curse Word

 It was a pretty typical morning: We are in the car on our way to daycare. My son tends to get antsy in the backseat so to pass the time; we usually like the sing a bunch of songs. The name of the song escapes me at the moment, but what had occurred next sets in motion the climax of this story.  I’m making a left turn on an intersection but before I can go through, another car comes in from my right and cuts me off, causing me to slam on my breaks.  The combination of fear, adrenaline and anger forces me to blurt out the “word” so fast it was already out of my mouth before I could catch it. Kinda like that scene from the movie, “A Christmas Story”

 

I regained my composure and after making sure the little guy was okay, we continued our commute with him blissfully unaware of how nwe arrowly averted a disaster. We didn’t drive more than 30 feet before he said it.

“F__k!”

I looked at him it the rear view. He’s grinning ear to ear, as if he knew exactly what he was saying.

“F__k-f__k-f__key-f__k –f__k!”

 

If I was in a clearer state of mind, I probably would have explained that his daddy said a naughty word that he never should have said it. I probably would have also apologized that he heard such a word come out of my mouth and told him that we don’t say words like that because they can hurt people’s feelings.

That talk would come later down the line, when he was a little bit older. During that moment in a panic, I went into full denial mode:

“What? That’s not what I said! What I said was, fork.”

And it worked. He believed that I said "fork" and all was well with the world.

I’ll be the first to admit though; what I did was a 100%, pure USDA certified cop out. But I just wasn’t in the mindset to deal with it at that moment and besides, he was only 2 at the time, so he forgot all about that moment.

In any case, it was more so a lesson learned for me more than anything, It was a reminder that no matter where I am or what type of situation I may face, I am a father at all time. As such, I have the weight of expectation. The expectation that I carry myself with integrity and composure especially in the presence of my family, because of the example that I set for them.

Because of this, I make the conscious effort to not curse whether I'm with my kids or not. That isn't to say that I don't slip up from time to time (especially when I stub my toe), but I truly believe that simply the effort in itself moves me closer to being the type of dad my kids can be proud of.

(UPDATE: He just asked his mom for candy and when she said no, the first words to come out of his mouth was, "Damn!" Mom just gave me a glare. I'm in trouble.)

Question: Have you ever unintentionally blurted a curse word in front of your kids? How did you handle the situation?